Why House Hunting Can Spark
That Age-Old Battle of the Sexes

When hunting for a house, what do women want? What do men?

Surprisingly, there's very little formal research on this issue, and much of it is on singles rather than couples. For instance, the National Association of Realtors' 2006 survey of consumers found that unmarried women looked for places near friends and family when home shopping, while single men wanted places that were near work or school. But the trade association doesn't break down responses of married couples by gender. When singles become couples, whose wish list wins?

To Peter Francese, demographic trend analyst for Ogilvy and Mather, a New York-based advertising, marketing and public relations firm, the answer is clear: The woman's. Mr. Francese, who has conducted hundreds of interviews on the subject since 2000, says the reason has to do with the fundamentally different way that each sex typically looks at home. "For women, it's a nest. For men, it's place to go out from and do their thing."

The relative importance of home to the sexes generally shows up early in relationships, Mr. Francese says. Single women have always bought homes at a greater rate than single men, even though they tend to make less money and usually can afford less impressive places. When the time comes to move in together, men tend to move into women's homes.

Because a home usually is more meaningful to a woman, married men tend to defer to their wives' tastes when house-hunting. "Time after time, men describe the home they're buying as 'the place their wife wants,' knowing that if their wife isn't happy, they won't be either," he says.

According to Mr. Francese, most women pay a lot of attention to the overall function of a home, including where various family members will eat and sleep. They are likely to care about how up-to-date kitchens and baths are and be more sensitive to outdoor views.

Men, on the other hand,  generally are more concerned about how maintenance-intensive a home is.  Most don't worry about functionality, as long as they have their own retreat. "Show a guy a house with a garage, a workshop, a built-in barbecue and a home office, and he'll buy it," he says.

When it comes to exteriors, men and women may be most at loggerheads. Men -- especially  the "alpha males" -- tend to prefer houses that are showy and open to the street, to show off how successful they are. Women are more likely to prefer homes that are set back from the main road and have more trees and privacy. "They aren't as interested in making a display," Mr. Francese says.

But on one issue, men and women usually are united, at least if they have children -- both want a home in the best possible school district. "Everything takes a back seat to that," he says.

Are you and your spouse househunting? Tell us about your conflicts and how your resolved them. Email June.Fletcher@WSJ.com

-- June Fletcher is a staff reporter at The Wall Street Journal and the author of "House Poor" (Harper Collins, 2005). Her "House Talk" column appears most Mondays on RealEstateJournal.com. Email your questions about the residential real-estate market. Please include your name, city and state. If you don't want your name used in our column, please indicate that. Due to volume of mail received, we regret that we cannot answer every question.

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